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29 août 2013

Kanye West victime de faux boulangers français

Kanye West aime la France et en particulier Paris et Paris le lui rend bien. On aime beaucoup Yeezy sauf, peut-être, les artisans boulangers.

Kanye West victime de faux boulangers français sur skeuds.comEn effet, depuis la sortie de Yeezus, son dernier album, cette corporation qui nous fournit chaque matin, croissants et pains au chocolat a des griefs à faire entendre.

Tout cela à cause des paroles de I Am a God et plus particulièrement du passage:

In a French-ass restaurant
Hurry up with my damn croissants

Même si nos boulangers ont pu se sentir viser, on doute qu'ils se soient mobilisés pour cela.


Et pourtant, une lettre ouverte à Kanye West concernant les lyrics de I Am a God, dévoilée par le site/blog medium.com, tendrait à prouver le contraire.

Dans cette lettre d'une certaine Association of French Bakers (???), domiciliée au 900 (oui, 900) rue Vieille du Temps, les boulangers se plaignent de ce que Yeezy qualifie ces/ses croissants de damn.

Et si cette association semble apprécier que Ye' ait parler de croissants plutôt que de crêpes ou de gaufres, ce passage semble vraiment l'embêter.

Même si elle apprécie que le G.O.O.D. Music rappeur fasse souvent allusion à la culture française.

Cela étant, cette association fantôme explique que l'un de ses membres, Louis Malpass, aime beaucoup Black Skinehead.

Cette lettre ouverte qui semble être un gros canular est signée Bernard Aydelotte ... que personne, et Google en particulier, ne semble connaître.

Bref,n on ne comprend pas trop à quoi sert cette grosse blague mais enjoy les rois de la boulange sur Skeuds pour Kanye West.


Regarding Croissants in “I am a God”

Association of French Bakers
900 Rue Vielle du Temple
Paris FRANCE

To Monsieur Kanye West:

Congratulations on the birth of your daughter, Nord! This is a truly auspicious time for you — and so it is with great sadness that we must lodge a formal complaint against the song “I am a God” from your new album Yeezus.

Our organization represents bakers across France, many of whom have taken great offense at this particular rhyming couplet:

    In a French-ass restaurant
    Hurry up with my damn croissants

Assuming you, as a man of means, dine exclusively at high-end restaurants and boulangeries during your voyages to Paris, it could not be possible that the delay of your “damn” croissants originated from slow service. And certainly, you are not a man to be satisfied with pre-made croissants from the baked goods case reheated and tossed out on a small platter. No — you had demanded your croissants freshly baked, to be delivered to your table straight out of the oven piping hot.

And it was with great joy you ordered croissants — not crêpes or brioches — because only croissants can proudly claim that exquisite combination of flaky crust and a succulent center. The croissant is dignified — not vulgar like a piece of toast, simply popped into a mechanical device to be browned. No — the croissant is born of tender care and craftsmanship. Bakers must carefully layer the dough, paint on perfect proportions of butter, and then roll and fold this trembling croissant embryo with the precision of a Japanese origami master.

This process, as you can understand, takes much time. And we implore the patience of all those who order croissants. You may be familiar with the famous French expression, “A great croissant is worth waiting a lifetime for.” We know you are a busy man, M. West, but we believe that your patience for croissants will always be rewarded.

We could easily let this water pass under the bridge, as they say, but we take your lyrics very seriously. From the other lines in the song, we have come to understand that you may in fact be a “God.” Yet if this were the case — and we, of course, take you at your word — we wonder why you do not more frequently employ your omnipotence to change time and space to better suit your own personal whims. For us mere mortals, we must wait the time required for the croissant to come to perfect fruition, but as a deity, you can surely alter the bread’s molecular structure faster than the speed of light, no? And with your omniscience, perhaps you have something to teach us about the perfect croissant. We await your guidance and insights.

We appreciate your continued patronage of French culture. (Your frequent references to menage perhaps speak an interest in the structure of the French household?) We hope from the deepest recesses of our hearts, however, that in the future you give croissants the time they need to fully mature before you partake. With that, we say, adieu. And our member Louis Malpass from Le Havre wants you to know that he loves “Black Skinhead.”

Salutations cordiales

Bernard Aydelotte
Association of French Bakers

 

A lire également:

Skeuds est désormais consultable sur smartphone ICI.

http://bit.ly/1a1ZMQF

15:51 Publié dans Rap | Lien permanent | Commentaires (0) | Tags : kanye west, rap, yeezus, canular |  Facebook | | |

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